Usually the first episode of any season of MAFS is pretty boring, especially a three hour one, but Boston’s Season 14th’s Mark and Lindsey changed that trend quickly. The cringe is strong with these two: Lindsey, who introduced herself as Lindsey with an “E” and without the “drug problem” and Mark the self proclaimed Shark, who felt the need to mention his nick name at the altar, just in case anyone missed it.
Choo choo! Bring on that train!
Lindsey… well, as she described herself… is a “lot”. Lindsey’s lovely and supportive father warned her: “Think before you open your mouth because when you say things when you’re angry it’s always devastating”. Whoa. This man is speaking wisdom from experience. But a train wreck starts with an out of control train and that appears to be Lindsey. Lindsey had a lot to say prior to and on her wedding day.
Let’s have a look at just some of the things, shall we?
- I hope they don’t set me up with a guy with a small dog and a penis to match
- Boston is small, I wonder which one of your grooms I have already slept with
- Stop, you are giving me WAP! (If you don’t know what WAP is, please google the lyrics to Cardi B’s song, I beg you)
- There are too many p*ssies in one room (referring to her and Mark’s five cats)
That last one sounded more like a pervy old man than a blushing bride…
Fans are already split down the middle (well, more like 80/20) with some calling Lindsey a riot, and others shocked and appalled at her behaviour. Is this what Mark had in mind when he asked for his soulmate? It remains to be seen, but Mark has his own stuff going on including opening with “everyone calls me the shark”. Do they though, Mark? Do they?
Mark and Lindsey both shared that they have issues with their mothers. Both mothers did not attend their weddings although for different reasons. Lindsey cried many times as she spoke about her mom whom she’d invited to her wedding numerous times. According to Lindsey the relationship is difficult to say the least, and her mother hasn’t taken a phone call from her in 3 years.
Lindsey says her mom is not kind to her
Whether you like Lindsey or not, you’d have to be hardhearted to not feel sad for her in the moments that she speaks of her mom. Who really knows what happened between them, but avoiding your child during important milestones is incomprehensible. Lindsey mentioned that her mom dangles a carrot in front of her then takes it away. If that really is true, it seems cruel and unnecessary. Lindsey’s dad and brother made up for her absence and Lindsey’s dad commented that her mother’s absence bothers him.
On the other end, Mark is taking enormous care of his mother to the point that it affects his relationships. One of the groomsmen mentioned that Mark is private about the extent of care he provides his mom with, but it is more than he likes to admit. We don’t really get to learn the details of his mother’s issues, but from the sounds of it she is not all there physically as well as mentally.
You gotta love the phone convo!
Mark: “Ma, I am getting married in one hour!” Mom: “Well why didn’t you do it the right way” Mark: “This will be the greatest love story of all time!” Mom: “If she stays”… some serious issues there.
The parental conflict angle is a welcome one, however.
After all, how many times have we heard the same story on reality TV: “I want a love story like my parents, they have had the perfect marriage, we get together every Sunday, my mom is my hero…” Sadly, most of us do not come out of a perfect family system. Many of us come from broken families, toxic families, families with addictions and violence and more. Good on MAFS for featuring real problems that adult children have to face and some of the pain and anguish that comes with that.
Lindsey and Mark are not the first cast members with parental trauma.
Myrla and Gil’s fathers were actually both murdered (a devastating issue that got little press) and season 12’s Virginia accused her father of narcissistic abuse post the show. Speaking of Virginia, fans were so put off by Lindsey’s day drinking that some have compared her to Virginia. But while Virginia floated into the party with her 26 year old weekend warriors, Lindsey delivered her champagne guzzling and belching with the grace of Frank Gallagher complete with Fran Drescher’s voice.
Is Mark ready for this?
The scene where Lindsey drops her top for production to look for her vows was nothing short of Angela Deem from 90 Day Fiance. Amazingly she got through her vows without issue and everything went smoothly. Mark seemed enamoured by Lindsey despite all this, albeit a bit scared. After the first conversation between the two with Lindsey falling on the bench and screaming that she loves cats, he remarks: “Wow, she has a lot of energy.”
Looks like you had a lot of energy at the bachelor party too, MTS!
Things got pretty wild for the guys, while the ladies had to settle for a drag show (boo). So while we still don’t know which WAP will make Mark the Shark’s baby shark dreams come true, this one looks like it’s off course already and we can’t wait for more. Cheers to another season and hopefully Lindsey and Mark!