Fans are outraged at Olajuwon’s abusive behavior after he left Katina in tears. Are we seeing an encore of Bao and Johnny or is this even worse?
What is Olajuwon’s problem?
Well, from the beginning, Olajuwon made it clear that to him, a wife who doesn’t cook is “not a wife”. Naturally he was matched with someone who doesn’t like to cook, and this has been an ongoing issue between the two throughout Season 14. While Katina has been trying to change her ways by going to the market, attending cooking classes, and doing her best to make meals, Olajuwon has been nothing but demeaning and pushy towards her. He has repeatedly pointed out that Katina is not doing enough and not meeting his standards.
Is this America in 2022 or an Italian soap opera from the 1960s?
Let’s not forget that these two are still in the honeymoon stage and trying to get to know one another with cameras around. The situation is stressful enough without Katina having to serve her hungry husband of 3 weeks who expects a 7 course meal cooked from scratch every night.
Olajuwon’s level of frustration doesn’t align with what’s happening
Katina doesn’t cook or clean. She is used to going out to eat and living a laid back lifestyle. But that doesn’t fly with Olajuwon because according to him he signed up for a ready wife and he is not interested in helping someone grow as a person.
You would think that with Olajuwon’s demands for perfection he would have chosen cleaner boxers for his wedding night, hadn’t put his face on a stripper’s butt and hadn’t announced to the other cast mates that he slept with multiple people in the same family.
Why should Katina have to prove her worth to this clown?
From the beginning Katina’s friends as well as viewers saw a lot of red flags with Olajuwon. Olajuwon is a playboy. Olajuwon has only dated white women in the past. Olajuwon was very promiscuous. Olajuwon never shuts up. Olajuwon sweats profusely.
Someone should tell Katina that she is too good for him
Katina is one of the most beautiful women who ever appeared on Married at First Sight. Katina is classy. Katina dresses well. Katina is committed. Katina is trying, but it looks like she has been matched with another abusive jerk who is devaluing her worth. The fact that Olajuwon keeps talking at her this way after she shared that her last relationship was abusive is alarming to say the least. Some fans even pointed out that Olajuwon’s behavior seems narcissistic complete with love bombing followed by devaluing.
When questioned about why she never cries Katina explained that her ex would abuse her verbally when she did by calling her a “weak b*tch”. Since then she has gone numb and has trained herself not to cry. But Olajuwon either doesn’t get it or doesn’t care. He appears to have already lost interest in his new wife and is more concerned about the fact that he had to sweep the floor by himself.
I have a confession
I am much lazier than my husband. When we first started living together we had a lot of conflict about that, so I can totally identify with Katina. My husband is a very hard worker. He does every job with pride. He hates to sleep in. He hates sitting around. His shirts are always perfectly hung and folded. The lawn is always mowed. The kitchen is always tidy. If we’re hiking we’re doing the full 15 miles … and so on.
Mansplaining and complaining
Because I worked from home my husband had much higher expectations for my household contribution. No plates were to be left out after lunch, he “mansplained” how to load the dishwasher, he complained that the house was too dusty, and that I would take too long to fold my clothes after I wash them. He still complains that I don’t buy enough food when I go shopping.
Finding my voice
At first I tried to comply with his expectations because I wanted to make our marriage work. But the expectations kept growing and I kept feeling worse and worse about myself because I knew that I wasn’t meeting them. I always felt like I was going to be in trouble like a little kid when he got home and I knew that I couldn’t live that way. A conversation needed to be had soon, and I knew that it might not go well.
Saying the magic words
I knew that what I was doing was never going to be good because my chores weren’t exactly how he would do them. Sorry, but I am not going to get up at 5 am, clean out the garage, have the house vacuumed and dusted, shop for groceries and whip up a meal from scratch on a Saturday. Like, I am just not. So eventually the blow up happened and I said the magic words that changed our marriage forever. Those words were…
“I don’t work for you”
That’s right. I am not your employee. Could I be doing more in the house? Maybe, but I also have a job. Could I be cooking 7 days a week? Sure, but I like takeout too and not having to cook. Could I fit in an extra cup in the dishwasher? Maybe, but I am not going to play dishwasher Tetris for your benefit so that I don’t get yelled at today. I may not be the perfect housekeeper but I bring a hell of a lot more to the table in other aspects of our relationship. I told him that if he can’t handle my “imperfections” he needs to find someone who checks those boxes and move on. And you know what? It worked. He backed off and stopped haggling me to do things perfectly, and on his timeline. He realized that if he needed things done to his standard he would have to do them himself.
Olajuwon needs to be checked
We have been happily married for 5 years now and we don’t argue much about household chores anymore. Also, because I have the freedom, I am a lot more interested in making something delicious and keeping the house neat.
So let’s hope Katina learns those words soon. Olajuwon needs to cut her some slack and try exploring how she lives her life before behaving like a household tyrant who’s got no time for her inadequacies.