jesse and jeniffer 90 day fiance

Jesse and Jeniffer: a tale of two narcissists, 90 Day Fiancé

Many cast members of 90 Day Fiancé have been accused of narcissism, but Jesse Meester is in a league of his own. Jesse double checks every box of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder checklist, and is completely unaware of how he comes across to others. In Jesse’s eyes he is an absolute star who deserves the most air time, attention, and praise, while in reality fans find him offensive arrogant and disgusting.

Jesse’s social media embellishments

On his Twitter Jesse listed actor, creator, NFTs & DeFi, marketing agency, applied psychologist and speaker as some of his achievements. On Instagram, he also added “luxury real estate & travel” and Cameo. You can even buy “Jesse tokens” according to his Twitter feed. Of course in actuality his biggest claim to fame was being a douchebag on the first season of 90 Day Fiancé and the second season of 90 Day Fiancé: The Single Life. Jesse has also been accused of writing his own Net Worth page and other absurd claims about his wealth and success. If anything, it’s hard to accuse Jesse Meester of not trying hard enough to put himself out there.

Jeniffer didn’t learn anything from Darcey

Unfortunately, some women still take the bait, and 25 year old Jeniffer Tarazona from Season 3 has been added to Jesse’s collection of his things to flaunt. Jeniffer seems to have missed Season 1 of 90 Day Fiancé where Jesse repeatedly verbally abused Darcey Silva.

Jesse Meester and Darcey Silva
Jesse and Darcey – 90 Day Fiance, Season1
Photo Credit – TLC

Jesse clearly enjoyed gaslighting the hell out of Darcey and exploiting her insecurities. Darcey is also an unusually easy target with a heap of her own problems which have been brought to light in the Darcey and Stacey spin off. Darcey and Stacey have been indulging in excessive amounts of plastic surgery and chasing young foreign guys. Darcey has been on and off with her unemployed fiance Georgi who has been accused of using her for money and fame, while Darcey dreamed of making him an insta-dad to her teenage daughters. Darcey also bought her own engagement ring. It’s amazing that Elizabeth swept up Andrei before these two could.

Because of Darcey’s erratic and attention-seeking behavior, armchair psychologists have suspected her of having histrionic personality disorder, combined with abandonment and codependency issues.

Darcey and Stacey before and after plastic surgery
Darcey and Stacey – Before and After plastic surgery

Naturally, when paired with a narcissist like Jesse the relationship was a mess, especially when Jesse was clearly using the much older Darcey to promote himself. Of course back then, Jesse was still an amateur in an ill-fitting shirt and a tiny apartment. Now, according to his Instagram, he is basically royalty!

King Jesse Joffer, ruler of Zamunda

Photo Credit – Jesse Meester’s Instagram

Jesse has fixed his teeth, got a better spray tan and a new hairstylist. He is now dressed in designer gear and enjoys the best of the best. However, it would not be surprising to see Jesse living out a real life Bilal hoax: spending money on swag and photographers while living in a shack and driving a panel van. Ok, panel vans are likely not as common in Amsterdam, but maybe he’s driving a Yugo GV. Of course according to Jesse, he owns multiple mansions all over the world and is now buying a villa with Jeniffer in Spain.

Why the Jeniffer shade?

Ok, so we know that Jesse is basically the worst, but why the hate for Jeniffer? Is she not just another victim of Jesse’s creepy tentacles? Before we give Jeniffer a complete pass, let’s examine some of her behavior.

Jeniffer and Tim, 90 Day Fiance season 3
Jeniffer and Tim, 90 Day Fiance season 3

Jeniffer first appeared on Season 3 of 90 Day Fiancé  to explore a relationship with Tim Malcolm. Tim famously refused to get intimate with Jeniffer and preferred to just hang out. Tim also wasn’t interested in any daring activities and was pretty low key. His behavior infuriated Jeniffer who berated him endlessly saying that he is not a man, that he is gay and that something must be horribly wrong with him because he didn’t want to sleep with her. According to Jeniffer any man who does not immediately ravage her and satisfy her sexually is not a “man”. It’s hard to imagine a man behaving this way towards a woman, bullying her to have sex and treating her like a flawed unsexy rag with lesbian tendencies if she wasn’t immediately interested. Granted, Tim and his outfits are pretty extra and have evolved over time, but he still didn’t deserve to be humiliated for not jumping her bones.

Jeniffer and Jesse

Jeniffer returned to the franchise on the Single Life 2, to meet Jesse whom she’s been talking to online for a year. She immediately explained that if Jesse didn’t take her he is “not a man” and he is just like Tim. She was very concerned when Jesse didn’t grab her and start making out at the airport. Through their first date (with Jesse dressed as a 5 year old in a school play) she explained to the cameras that she needed sex. They ended up having sex that night. Phew. Jesse was a “man” after all.

Jeniffer and Jesse, 90 day fiance
Jesse and Jeniffer
The Single Life
Photo Credit – Discovery +

Tread lightly with a narcissist

By the way, had Jeniffer treated Jesse like Tim, things would have turned sour. She was already treading the line when she said that Jesse is “one of the best” in bed, instead of “the best”. A narcissist’s biggest fear is shame, and had she exposed any issues with his sex game there would have been revenge. Narcissists cannot handle the slightest critique and retaliate quickly when they feel burned, especially by a partner whom they are attempting to control. Although less likely to occur during the love bombing stage, narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage are real and dangerous. However, we should not presume that Jesse is violent or aggressive. Narcissists who are non-violent retaliate through various manipulation strategies and smear campaigns. Think about how much Jesse enjoys humiliating Darcey when appearing on her Tell Alls, calling her a cheater, sipping tea and calling the host “sweetheart”. In the words of Florian…

“For what you here?!”

Jeniffer uses Cacua to make Jesse jealous

A narcissist’s biggest goal is to be admired and praised. They will attempt to achieve praise at any cost, regardless of whom they hurt and how many people they exploit. Enter Cacua, who is basically Jeniffer’s f-boy when she is not seeing anyone else. Cacua admitted to being in love with Jeniffer for 10 years.

Jesse and Jeniffer - 90 Day Fiancé
Jesse, Jeniffer and Cacua

Make him dance, Cacua, make him dance

Cacua joins Jesse and Jeniffer on a date and is introduced as her “friend”. Ten years would mean that he has been in love with Jeniffer since his mid-teens, and probably hasn’t loved anyone else. Why not exploit him and deliberately hurt him for the benefit of some drama? Who else would go on a TV show and praise Jeniffer’s looks, personality and say that she is the best in bed? Jeniffer later denied that she ever slept with Cacua, basically making him look like a liar and a braggart. How many times has Jeniffer used Cacua in those 10 years?

Back to narcissistic injury and shame

Although Jeniffer leads with sex, she seems to be extremely insecure about being labeled anything related to that type of behavior. Jesse making  a “joke” about an ex paying her for a date would have immediately triggered a painful and shamed response from Jeniffer. That is why she exploded, slapped him, then went off to cry about how people don’t love her for what’s on the inside and treat her like a piece of meat. Leave it to the 90 Day Fiancé producers to shoot this scene while she is in a thong and sporting a giant cold sore on her mouth. All in good fun, right? 

Jeniffer and Jesse, the single life, 90 day Fiancé
Photo Credit – Discovery +

More gaslighting

In a healthy relationship the partner who accidentally offended the other would be regretful and immediately apologetic. Instead of being horrified by hurting this woman he claims to love, Jesse asks if she has “calmed down”. If you are not familiar with gaslighting, this is a perfect example of it. There is nothing more infuriating that being blamed for your emotions during an emotional episode, especially by the instigator himself. We have seen Jesse do that in the past as well. For example in the famous scene where Darcey screams: “You don’t love me, you never did, you liar!” while pulling her bags out of the Uber, Jesse yells back: “Keep drinking, Darcey!” She was not drinking at the time and let’s not forget that this happened after he baited her to come to NYC just to break up with her on camera.

Jesse is a horrible, shallow wannabe with abusive tendencies, but Jeniffer exhibits a lot of narcissistic traits as well. When two narcissists collide it makes for a very toxic relationship and these relationships never end well. Let’s not forget that Jeniffer also has a young daughter who is exposed to this mess.

Could Jeniffer be pregnant?

Around April 1, 2022 Jeniffer and Jesse posted a positive pregnancy test on Instagram. Fans went ballistic with accusations of a tasteless April fools hoax and the photo was quickly deleted. At this time it is unknown whether Jeniffer is really pregnant. Let’s hope that these two do not reproduce, and let’s hope that her daughter never sees the scene of her mom taking off her underwear and handing it to Jesse to sniff at the airport. Let’s hope that Jeniffer wakes up, becomes a better role model, and leaves Jesse Meester in the past.