johnny from married at first sight needs it all

Is Johnny from Married at First Sight hurting Bao? A look at abusive behavior on MAFS, Season 13

Ok, can we all just agree that Bao deserves better?

On day one Johnny and Bao appeared to be the perfect couple. They are from the same cultural background, they love to organize and they even both had bidets! How many people have bidets in Texas?! However, things went downhill quickly when Johnny began to sabotage the marriage almost immediately. At first he alluded to the fact that he wasn’t that into Bao for a bunch of petty reasons that he couldn’t explain well. But lately his dodgy comments have gone from confusing to downright sadistic.

Here are just a few things Johnny has said to Bao so far on camera

  • You are not consistent
  • You are not trying in this relationship
  • You are not genuine
  • You are not honest 
  • You are not asking me to do things with you
  • You don’t initiate
  • You are fake when we are around other people
  • I didn’t want to bring her around my family when I don’t even like her (to Pastor Cal)
  • I would have rather been matched with anyone else (to Pastor Cal)
  • I have high expectations for the person I am married to and she is not meeting those (to his aunt)
  • I am not getting the romantic feeling

Did she really deserve THIS look while he shredded rose petals into his plate?

It’s hard to imagine that anyone would stick around after being unloaded on like that, but Bao is still trying. She seems to have identified Johnny’s abandonment issues and has reassured him that she isn’t going anywhere. But how far is too far? Sure, Bao is quirky and a self-proclaimed perfectionist. Sure, some of the stuff she has said about not showering is a bit weird. Saying that she cooks “gourmet meals” when she doesn’t was a weird flex, but was it as manipulative as Johnny made it sound?

Johnnie from Married at First Sight anger issues

How about any of these looks?

Johnnie hates Bao

When you are faced with the man who killed your entire family and you must avenge their deaths

Johnnie tells Bao he is putting in 150%

When the suspect is close to confessing after an intense 13 hour interrogation

Johnny from MAFS is so annoyed by Bao

When the neighbor plays “Baby Shark” on repeat at full volume

Why aren’t you the sexy kitten of my dreams!? 😡 😡 😡

In fact, Johnny only seems to have two facial expressions when interacting with Bao: the coy smile when she has pleased him with a compliment, a sexual innuendo, or fried chicken; and the terrifying face of a man ready for a murderous rampage when she has displeased him. What’s even scarier is that these reactions come out of nowhere and at times seem completely unprovoked. It’s bad enough that Bao is already changing her personality for him:

“Johnny likes flirty girls. I am not very a flirty person but I do it to make him happy.”

Those shorts were made for a less angry occasion

After Johnny storms away from the dinner table leaving Bao mortified and confused, he can be heard screaming in anger in the other room while Bao is being interviewed. Bao’s body language is pure terror. Her eyes get wide, she wraps her arms around herself for protection and lowers her head. After the outburst she tries to calm Johnny while he continues to berate her and tell her that they are incompatible and different. Her efforts are futile. Johnny leaves the apartment and spends the night elsewhere.

Johnny from Married at First Sight pink shorts.

The un-invite

Instead of attending Johnny’s family event like they were supposed to Johnny goes alone. The family event is where he pours more dirt onto Bao. Speaking to multiple family members he complains that he doesn’t like “how she thinks”, “how she communicates” and that “she is not meeting his standards”. Meanwhile we see Bao in the apartment alone, making the effort to memorize each of his family members’ names in Mandarin, and prepping his meals for next week.

Pastor Cal instructs Johnny to like Bao

After all this it was time for some therapy. Bao and Johnny sit down for a video call with Pastor Cal during which Johnny once again repeats that he was matched with the wrong person and says that he doesn’t like her. Pastor Cal highlights some of Bao’s good qualities for which poor Bao is deeply grateful. Johnny looks visibly annoyed by the positivity and validation, but promises to work on it and to try to find the beauty in the relationship. But let’s face it, has any relationship ever turned out well after one partner overcommitted to the other, who treated them like garbage? 

Johnnie tells pastor Cal that he is comparing Bao to an ideal person

But Johnny needs it all…

Sometimes it is hard to remember that Johnny is a 35 year old man. He rationalizes more like a 16 year old about love, marriage, and compatibility. Does he even want a real woman or an avatar he has compiled from movies, other people’s lives, Tinder profiles and porn? It’s one thing to not be attracted to someone and that is ok. But to repeatedly rip into Bao for just being Bao is not. In the next episode Johnny hits a new low when he tells Bao that they could have been dating for 15 years but he was not attracted to her.

Johnny's perfect woman - not Bao

Bao deserves so much better. Let’s hope she knows that too.

Enjoyed this article? Check out: Jose from Married at First Sight – anger issues and little man complex.